Fig Leaf Wars


There were about 20 audience members who were slowly tempted out of the Blue Orange Theatre café in the Jewellery Quarter and into the theatre. On the night of the 2014 Brazilian World Cup Final they were doing pretty well for patrons. Although we were a small group it only increased the closeness between the audience and the man and lady dressed up as a giant penis and a giant vulva. The tagline was:

A human-sized walking Vagina and Penis are going to meet again for the first time. How will the meeting go? Will they meet each other’s expectations? What are they supposed to do and how will they know?

Dick timidly broke out of the shadows and came to chat to the audience about how excited (no pun intended) he was to be free. He’s usually attached to someone, and it was a while before Fanny came on-stage to tell us that they’d been having a fight for thousands of years.

Not only were Fanny (or the Vulva of Venus) and Dick representing individual lady parts and man parts, they were also representing those of everyone in the world. This created an easy bond, and slight uncomfortableness, (which I think we soon got over – through much giggling) with their audience.

Throughout the partly-improvised show the characters demonstrated the trials and tribulations, as well as the pleasures, of being human genitalia. This sincere and welcoming pair gave us a hilarious and open night out. They spoke with the audience about the relationship between genitalia, in the olden days, and wondered aloud why people turn the lights off to have sex. With tunes such as “Sexual Healing” and “Floating through Space” (it might be called that – I’m not really sure!) they took us on a sensitive journey around the most intimate regions of humanity. Fanny showed us how she felt about rape and Dick told us how many rapes go unreported.

Far from being an after-school special this was a very playful yet grown-up, real platform from which to discuss sexuality and how we are all going to afford to get up to Edinburgh to see them again.

Follow this Facebook link for more info:


I can’t find the link to a great Huffpost article about what our brave cast members, Dick and Fanny, get up to when they’re not on-stage! It involves a man in Glasgow attacking Dick (AKA Chris Murray, in costume) and Fanny (AKA Joanne Tremarco, also in costume) saving him! If you find it please post the link!


Scouts – Entertainer Badge Night

scout logopic

Make your own Puppet theatre

I ran this night and I was really pleased at how successful it was! There were some really creative ideas from the Scouts. The Scouts wrote a Stage Management list for backstage. One even had a lighting rig, a headtorch and crepe paper for a gel (to make a coloured light).

– I’ll add the info about Pepper’s ghost, which I got off the internet and tried but didn’t work. I think I’ll have to put some more thought into how it works practically. Any comments on how to do that would be great because I think our Scouts would’ve loved it! Link: PEPPER and Dirck’s ghost

Here is my plan!

Basic ingredients: Tables, shoe/wine boxes or big bike boxes (Sainsbury’s/Cult Cycles are very obliging with boxes!), cardboard, bits and bobs (bells, material, string) coloured paper, sellotape, headtorches, crepe paper, pritt stick, eggboxes, chalks, paints, possibly a CD player and classical music (The Planets has a good range of scary, love, war etc. or Now 70, whatever works for your Scouts!)

Timing: We didn’t do a game in the two hours so we just stuck to this activity and tidying up. You could probably fit in a short game of Cat and Mouse/Tig, though depending on how messy it gets!

Leader numbers: 2

1: (5 mins) Scouts get out the tables

2: (15 mins) We sat and chatted about Theatres and I showed them pictures of local theatres, exciting sets and asked if they’d been to a panto/play. We discussed their favourite sets (Had to say what a “set” was) and plays

Scouts – Plays and puppet theatre 2003 – This link is to a file with pictures of plays like:

Robin Hood in the RSC Main Theatre: A massive tree was hung from the rig, they had a 50 foot grass-covered slide on stage and flying characters.

Doctor Faustus at The Globe: I showed images of monsters from Doctor Faustus where actors come from Hell (using a trapdoor under the stage).

3: (5 mins) Explain the task: “Work in groups of 5 to make your own Puppet theatre (very clear Youtube video of how to do this with a shoebox!), puppets and stories. You have massive cardboard boxes so think what you want to do with them before you cut them up. Everyone needs a job so one person can write a scene of a story, one person does props, etc.” (Our Scouts decided to make flyers to advertise and used a sponsor) Best one gets haribos. I used a scorechart to make it professional 😉 (scores based on teamwork, sets, originality, story etc.-could do a clap-o-meter or raise of hands if there are lots of groups.)

4: (40 mins) Leave them to it and offer help/ideas if needed.

5: (10 minutes) “Start your tech and dress rehearsals! 10 minutes left!”

6: (10 minutes) We all sat together and watched the shows. We only had two groups so it was short. You may need to adjust for more groups.

So now they can get their Entertainer Badge! Yay.

An idea for next time 🙂 Shadow Puppet Theatre